You just never know what tragedy you will be a part of and how it could easily take your life or remind you how easily it can be taken away. As of late Hurricane Sandy has taught us that.
Which leads me to my frustration with myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful for my parents who I love so dearly but honestly I should own my own place or be in a long term relationship or be married. But what helps with the delay of my wishes is something my therapist used to tell me "the relationship I want will happen when I'm ready to accept it." Let me just say I am way past ready. I miss being in a couple but honestly I haven't been out socially in a while. I plan on changing this in December with the following upcoming events I have planned:
1. A Wine and Painting Class with a Meetup Group December 1st
2. Another Speed Dating Event December 13th
3. New Years Event (where not sure yet) December 31st
Not working full time has made me very comfortable not working a 40 hour week. I have a habit of pretending that my credit cards are free cash and have been buying clothes like crazy when honestly I don't need any more! Buying cute clothes for my new size is definitely the magic pill to cure my depressed mood. And as you know any addiction is just a momentary solution and does not change it. I am aware of my spending and honestly I think I have been pretty good about it but I do need to stop with the clothing and shoes shopping. I mean all these cute dresses and shoes and I've been staying home feeling depressed. I want to find my love and find a job I love. But finding and getting a full time employment is like searching for a good man to date. There's too many people with the same qualifications aiming to win that prize. And that prize can basically accept any recipient they'd like because there are so many of us.
It's so FRUSTRATING! And I know I'm the only person who can change my own life. I know it. I believe that planning has a lot to do with it and I just need to really focus on my love life and job search. I also plan on getting a Masters Degree in Finance so school search is another task I need to grasp. So I declare that December will be a great month and 2013 will be one of the best years ever.
Til the next time.
- Loree
